Introduction
The Extended Essay (EE) is one of the most intimidating components of the IB Diploma Programme. With 4,000 words of independent research, it pushes students to think critically and manage a long-term project.
But for many teens, the hardest part isn’t the research — it’s comparison. They notice classmates who seem “ahead” or “more confident” and start believing they’re falling behind. As a parent, you may hear comments like:
- “Everyone else already finished their draft!”
- “I’ll never catch up.”
- “My essay isn’t as good as theirs.”
Comparison is normal, but if it becomes constant, it can drain motivation and harm confidence. Here’s how you can help your teen manage it.
Why IB Students Compare EE Progress
- Visible milestones – Teens often talk about word counts, drafts, or topics, making progress easy to compare.
- Different supervisors – Some teachers set stricter timelines than others.
- Perfectionism – High-achieving IB students measure themselves against peers.
- Fear of failure – Comparing can feel like a way to “check if I’m doing okay.”
- Unclear expectations – Without understanding the EE process, teens assume others are “ahead.”
Why Constant Comparison Is Harmful
- Increases anxiety – Teens worry they’re behind, even if they’re on track.
- Kills motivation – Instead of focusing on their own work, they obsess over others.
- Breeds resentment – Peers become rivals instead of collaborators.
- Distracts from learning – The EE is meant to build independence, not competition.
How Parents Can Help Teens Manage EE Comparisons
1. Reassure Them That Progress Looks Different for Everyone
Explain that the EE process varies:
- Some students finish drafts quickly but struggle with revisions.
- Others take longer brainstorming but produce strong final essays.
- Supervisors set different timelines, so comparisons are often unfair.
2. Focus on Process, Not Speed
Ask your teen:
- “What step are you working on now?”
- “What’s one small goal you can complete this week?”
This shifts attention from how fast others are moving to what they can control today.
3. Break Down the EE Into Manageable Stages
Help them create a simple checklist:
- Choose topic & research question.
- Conduct research.
- Write outline.
- Draft introduction.
- Complete body paragraphs.
- Revise and finalize.
Crossing off each stage provides satisfaction without needing peer comparisons.
4. Normalize Struggles With Stories
Remind your child that everyone struggles with the EE at some point. If possible, share stories of past IB students who faced challenges but succeeded in the end.
5. Teach Healthy Peer Engagement
Peers can be a source of support, not just competition. Encourage your teen to:
- Share strategies instead of comparing word counts.
- Ask questions like, “What research source did you find useful?”
- Collaborate on study sessions while keeping focus on their own essay.
6. Celebrate Individual Progress
Instead of asking, “How far along are you compared to others?” ask, “What did you accomplish this week?” Recognize small wins — finishing a paragraph, refining a research question, or finding a strong source.
Common Mistakes Parents Should Avoid
- Asking for comparisons (“What are your classmates doing?”).
- Praising speed over quality (“Wow, your friend already finished theirs?”).
- Dismissing concerns (“Stop worrying about what others are doing”).
- Over-involving yourself — the EE is meant to teach independence.
FAQs About EE Comparisons
Q1: Is it normal for IB students to compare their EE progress?
Yes, it’s very common. The EE is one of the first large projects many students complete, so they look to peers for reassurance.
Q2: What if my teen really is behind on their EE?
First, clarify deadlines with the supervisor. If they are behind, help them create a structured plan with small, achievable steps.
Q3: How much time should students spend on the EE each week?
It varies, but most students benefit from dedicating 1–2 hours per week consistently rather than cramming near deadlines.
Q4: Can comparisons ever be helpful?
Yes, if framed positively. For example, learning about peers’ research strategies can spark new ideas. The key is avoiding unhealthy competition.
Q5: What if comparison leads to anxiety or panic attacks?
Encourage your child to speak with their IB coordinator or school counselor. Severe stress should not be ignored.
Conclusion
The Extended Essay is a marathon, not a race. When teens constantly compare themselves to peers, they lose sight of their own strengths and progress. As a parent, you can help by shifting the focus to personal milestones, steady progress, and healthy engagement.
In the end, success in the EE isn’t about who finishes first — it’s about learning research, critical thinking, and perseverance. With your support, your teen can approach the EE with confidence and independence.
