Definition
- Communication in Relationships: The process of exchanging information, self-disclosure, and resolving conflicts, which influences relationship maintenance and satisfaction.
Communication is often cited as the reason to whether a relationship is well-maintained or likely to fall apart.
HintThe studies discussed in this section (Bradbury & Fincham (1992) and Gottman (1998)) can also be used to support the broader subtopic of why relationships change or end in personal relationships.
Key Ideas:
- Relationship-Enhancing Patterns: These communication patterns strengthen relationships by avoiding blame and not assuming the other person acted with negative intent. They focus on understanding and positive reinforcement.
- Distress-Maintaining Patterns: Unlike relationship-enhancing patterns, these contribute to relationship deterioration by placing blame, assuming negative intent, and failing to recognize positive behaviors.
- Social Penetration Theory: This theory explains how relationships develop gradually through self-disclosure. As individuals share more personal information to their partner, trust and intimacy grow.
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Psychologist John Gottman identified four communication behaviors that predict relationship failure:
- Criticism – Attacking a person’s character rather than addressing a specific behavior.
- Contempt – Expressing disrespect, superiority, or mockery.
- Defensiveness – Avoiding responsibility by making excuses or counterattacking.
- Stonewalling – Withdrawing from interaction and refusing to engage.
- The Active Listening Model: Effective listening involves acknowledging the speaker’s feelings and concerns without becoming defensive, validating their emotions and demonstrating support, even when disagreements arise.
Bradbury & Fincham (1992):
Aim: To investigate how communication patterns relate to marital satisfaction.
Method: In an observational study, 47 couples completed a survey identifying the biggest problem in their marriage and its cause. After the individual session, couples discussed a solution together. Two trained coders assessed the interactions for relationship-enhancing or distress-maintaining patterns.
Results: Couples with lower marital satisfaction showed more distress-maintaining patterns.
Conclusion: Distress-maintaining communication patterns contribute to relationship breakdown by reinforcing negative interactions.
Evaluation:
- Bidirectional ambiguity as it is unclear whether communication patterns cause marital dissatisfaction or result from it.
- The use of researcher triangulation reduces bias.
- The study observed real couples, making the findings applicable to real-life relationships. However, the artificial setting of a study may have influenced how participants behaved, lowering the ecological validity.
- The study focused on Western couples, limiting generalizability.
- Some couples may have faced minor disagreements, while others dealt with serious conflicts. This inconsistency could have affected the extent to which distress-maintaining patterns were observed.
Gottman (1998):
Aim: To investigate the role of positive and negative affect in marital satisfaction and the likelihood of divorce.
Method: Over 6 years, 130 couples were assessed using the Marital Adjustment Test (MAT). Participants discussed a recurring marital problem while researchers measured active listening. Two trained coders analyzed behavior and speech. Couples also watched recordings of their discussions and rated their own emotions throughout the interaction.
Results:
- High-intensity negative affect (e.g., anger, contempt) strongly predicted divorce.
- Low-intensity negative affect (e.g., mild criticism, irritation) predicted divorce only when expressed by the woman, but not the man.
Conclusion: Active listening and validation were rare in these discussions, even in stable marriages. The study found no strong evidence that validation is a key factor in relationship success.
Evaluation:
- Data triangulation strengthen the study’s reliability.
- The study observed real couples discussing real problems, but the presence of researchers and video recording may have influenced their behavior.
- The finding that low-intensity negative affect predicted divorce when expressed by women, but not men, suggests that societal expectations around gender and communication could play a role in relationship dynamics.
Critical Thinking
- Strengths:
- Empirical evidence supports theoretical claims; findings applicable to marriage counseling.
- Many studies use data triangulation (self-reports, behavioral observations, and coding), increasing reliability.
- Limitations:
- Observational studies may lack ecological validity; cultural differences in communication styles are under-explored.
- Many studies are reductionist as they do not explore other factors such as personality, financial stress, mental health, and external pressures also contribute.
- It is unclear whether poor communication causes relationship breakdown or whether a deteriorating relationship leads to negative communication patterns (bidirectional ambiguity).
- Many studies focus on Western couples, yet communication styles differ across cultures.
- Applications:
- Enhancing communication skills can improve relationship satisfaction and conflict resolution.
- Research suggests that the way couples communicate about conflict is a strong indicator of whether the relationship will last, this allows us to predict a relationship breakdown.
- Marriage & relationship counseling.
- Understanding communication patterns can help individuals build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
