English Lit Paper 1 Commentary Notes

Why the Moon Tiger Essay is a 20/20 Model Response

Criterion A: Understanding and Interpretation (5/5)

1. What it assesses:
   1. Understanding of the text’s meaning, themes, audience, and purpose
   2. Accurate use of evidence to support interpretation
2. Why this scored 5:
   1. Clear recognition of Moon Tiger as prose fiction
   2. Identifies the theme of sibling rivalry and the unreliability of perception
   3. Integrates analysis of how narrative perspective affects meaning
   4. Evidence is well-chosen and fully supports interpretation
3. How it could go even further:
   1. Further explore how these perspectives reflect broader literary concerns in Lively’s writing (e.g. memory, history, female subjectivity)
   2. Briefly mention how this extract connects to the novel’s wider structure, even though it’s unseen

Criterion B: Analysis and Evaluation (5/5)

1. What it assesses:
   1. Analysis of literary and structural techniques
   2. Evaluation of how these shape meaning and effect
2. Why this scored 5:
   1. Consistent use of accurate literary terms: diction, narration, tone, symbolism, imagery
   2. Deep analysis of verbs (“thrashes,” “snarls”) and symbolism (e.g. fossils)
   3. Explains not just what techniques are used, but why they matter in shaping character and conflict
3. How it could go even further:
   1. Include more discussion of syntax and rhythm in key moments (e.g. “skidding rolling thumping”)
   2. More detailed evaluation of how pacing builds tension, particularly in the fall scene

Criterion C: Focus and Organization (5/5)

1. What it assesses:
   1. How clearly and logically ideas are structured
   2. Whether the argument is consistently developed
2. Why this scored 5:
   1. The introduction provides a clear roadmap (Claudia → Gordon → Edith)
   2. Each paragraph sticks to one perspective and is structured using the PEEL method
   3. Transitions are smooth and help build a cumulative argument
3. How it could go even further:
   1. Use more explicit signposting of thematic links between paragraphs (“This shift from Claudia’s emotional detachment to Gordon’s aggression reinforces…”)
   2. Add a very brief hook or thematic setup before the thesis to create a more compelling opening

Criterion D: Language (5/5)

1. What it assesses:
   1. Clarity, accuracy, and sophistication of language
   2. Use of literary vocabulary and register
2. Why this scored 5:
   1. Writing is clear, fluent, and academic throughout
   2. Uses precise literary terms like “third-person limited”, “emotional tone”, “symbolism”
   3. Sentences are varied and well-controlled
3. How it could go even further:
   1. Employ more stylistic variety in tone for added rhythm or emphasis (e.g. short, emphatic sentences at key moments)
   2. Occasionally elevate word choice from “shows” or “suggests” to stronger verbs like “evokes,” “manifests,” “encapsulates”