The Commentary
- Refer to 3.4.1 The Essay:
1. Theme: Control
Sample Question: How do two of the works you have studied portray the consequences of individuals resisting or losing control?
Texts: 1984 by George Orwell & A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams
- This model answer scores 30/30 for IB English A: Literature Paper 2 because it excels across all four IB criteria:
Criterion A: Knowledge, Understanding, and Interpretation (10/10)
- Thorough textual understanding: It demonstrates deep insight into 1984 and A Streetcar Named Desire, engaging with characters, themes, and narrative strategies.
- Precise, accurate references: Detailed references like “2 + 2 = 5” and “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers” show strong textual control.
- Complex interpretation: It moves beyond surface-level analysis, e.g., examining how control links to identity, ideology, and truth.
Tip
- Keep tying your analysis back to the question.
- Don’t just show you know the text, show you understand what it says about the prompt.
- Instead of:
- “Winston is tortured in Room 101.”
- Say:
- “Winston’s torture in Room 101 shows Orwell’s bleak view that resisting control ultimately leads to the destruction of self.”
- Always relate examples to big ideas in the question (e.g. identity, morality, power).
Criterion B: Analysis and Evaluation (10/10)
- Sustained analysis: Each paragraph thoroughly unpacks ideas and devices like symbolism (glass paperweight, paper lantern), narration, and irony.
- Evaluative insight: The essay doesn't just describe effects, it evaluates authorial purpose (e.g., “Orwell’s devastating irony” or “Williams critiques...patriarchal systems”).
- Balanced comparison: The essay compares how and why techniques are used, not just what happens. For example, it contrasts Orwell’s bleak dystopian realism with Williams’ poetic stagecraft.
Tip
- Zoom in on techniques, then zoom out to meaning.
- Use this formula: Technique → Effect → Message.
- Example:
- “Williams uses expressionist sound (the Varsouviana polka) to reflect Blanche’s disintegrating mental state, symbolising the inescapable trauma that drives her loss of control.”
- Be specific about how literary and dramatic features shape meaning across both texts.
Criterion C: Focus, Organization, and Development (5/5)
- Clear, logical structure: Introduction, four comparative body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a topic sentence, development, and link.
- Focused thesis: It maintains a sharp focus on the theme of control and consistently relates back to the question.
- Effective transitions: Phrases like “in contrast”, “meanwhile”, and “likewise” ensure smooth comparative flow.
Tip
- Use comparison as your essay’s backbone.
- Don’t just analyse each text separately. Compare throughout:
- Start paragraphs with comparative topic sentences.
- Use linking phrases like “In contrast,” “Similarly,” “Both texts show,” etc.
- Signpost your ideas clearly, and ensure your argument builds logically from point to point.
Criterion D: Language (5/5)
- Fluent and academic: Sophisticated, precise vocabulary (e.g., “ideological submission”, “poetic expressionism”, “moral ambiguity”).
- Variety in sentence structure: The prose flows naturally with varied syntax and rhetorical control.
- Confident tone: The voice is analytical and authoritative throughout, with no informal phrasing or errors.
Tip
- Write with control, clarity, and purpose.
- Aim for a formal, academic tone without sounding robotic.
- Vary sentence structure and use precise vocabulary:
- Instead of: “This shows he loses control.”
- Try: “This symbolises his complete psychological breakdown.”
- Avoid errors that distract from meaning, proofread if you have time.
Note
- This essay scores 30/30 because it is:
- Insightful: Goes beyond description into interpretation and evaluation.
- Comparative: Always connects both texts around a clear thematic axis.
- Textually grounded: Supports every argument with detailed evidence.
- Well-written: Academic tone, precise language, logical structure.
Markscheme
| Criterion | Level 1–2 | Level 3–4 | Level 5–6 | Level 7–8 | Level 9–10 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A. Knowledge, Understanding & Interpretation /10 | Little knowledge of the works; minimal or no relevant comparison or relation to the question. | Some knowledge of the works; superficial comparison and relevance to the question. | Satisfactory understanding; adequate interpretation of similarities/differences in relation to the question. | Good understanding; sustained and convincing interpretation of both texts. | Perceptive understanding; insightful, persuasive comparison; thorough interpretation of authorial implications. |
| B. Analysis & Evaluation /10 | Descriptive; little analysis of literary features or authorial choices. | Appropriate analysis of textual or authorial choices, but relies on summary. | Satisfactory analysis of textual or authorial choices, but relies on summary. Generally appropriate evaluation; some understanding of literary technique. | Insightful analysis; good comparison of literary features and their impact. | Consistently insightful analysis and convincing evaluation of how language and choices shape meaning. |
| C. Focus & Organization /5 | Lacks focus; few or no connections between ideas. | Unbalanced focus; connections between ideas may be weak or unclear. | Mostly logical structure; some lapses in coherence. | Clear and cohesive focus and development of ideas. | Well-structured, logical, and coherent argument; effective and sustained focus. |
| D. Language /5 | Inappropriate register and frequent grammar/vocab errors. | Limited accuracy in grammar and vocabulary; style inconsistent. | Generally clear with some errors; register mostly appropriate. | Good control of language and structure; mostly effective style. | Fluent, precise, and effective use of language; register fully appropriate. |
