The Commentary Notes

IB English HL Essay (HLE) Grading Breakdown & Expanded Feedback (20/20)

Criterion A: Knowledge & Interpretation (5/5)

1. Depth of insight & interpretation
   1. The essay demonstrates a sophisticated understanding of The World’s Wife, moving beyond surface-level retellings to uncover how Duffy actively reclaims mythological narratives.
   2. Each poem is read through a feminist lens, interpreting Duffy’s poetic reimaginings as critiques of patriarchal constructs embedded in classical mythology.
   3. The student’s analysis reveals how Duffy doesn’t simply revoice these women but reframes the power dynamics that shaped their original silencing.
2. Engagement with the text & global significance
   1. Every paragraph contains detailed, focused engagement with Duffy’s language, form, and narrative style.
   2. The global significance of gendered storytelling is made explicit, the essay highlights how myths influence modern understandings of female roles, identity, and authorship.
   3. The discussion of objectification, marital fidelity, and narrative control connects the ancient with the contemporary, reinforcing the poem’s cultural relevance.
3. Balancing Close & Wide Analysis
   1. The essay zooms in on key lines and images, such as Galatea’s “Cold, I was,” Penelope’s “scarlet thread,” and Eurydice’s direct address to “Girls.”
   2. It zooms out to examine Duffy’s overarching purpose: reclaiming voice, dismantling mythic male dominance, and celebrating female autonomy.
   3. The approach is balanced and nuanced, combining textual precision with thematic breadth.

Criterion B: Analysis & Evaluation (5/5)

1. Depth of Analysis of Literary Techniques
   1. The student provides detailed analysis of Duffy’s use of dramatic monologue, metaphor, tone, and structure.
   2. Rather than just identifying techniques, the essay explains their function, for example, how Galatea’s performative moans undermine the male fantasy of female compliance.
   3. There is clear attention to form and voice, particularly in the contrast between Penelope’s quiet assertion and Eurydice’s defiant tone.
2. Evaluation of Meaning & Purpose
   1. Duffy’s purpose to challenge traditional gender roles and rewrite male-authored myths, is consistently foregrounded.
   2. The essay explores how each speaker offers a critique of female objectification or silencing, showing how Duffy replaces passive muses with resistant narrators.
   3. There is sustained reflection on the power of storytelling, with recognition of how myth has historically been a male-coded medium.
3. Consideration of Alternative Perspectives
   1. The essay avoids treating the characters as one-dimensional symbols of feminism.
   2. Instead, it acknowledges the complexity of each speaker’s response to patriarchy: Galatea’s manipulation, Penelope’s quiet self-definition, and Eurydice’s refusal to be saved.
   3. These differences are evaluated not as contradictions but as part of Duffy’s wider commentary on the diversity of female experience.

Criterion C: Focus & Organization (5/5)

1. Clear & Logical Structure
   1. The essay follows a well-structured plan:
      1. Introduction: Introduces Duffy’s anthology, her feminist aims, the classical source material, and a clear thesis.
      2. Body Paragraphs 1–3: Each focuses on a distinct poem (Galatea, Penelope, Eurydice), analysing voice, identity, and rebellion.
      3. Body Paragraph 4: Synthesises insights across all three texts to evaluate how Duffy critiques patriarchal mythmaking.
      4. Conclusion: Effectively recaps the main argument and affirms Duffy’s success in reclaiming female voice and identity.
2. Smooth Transitions Between Ideas
   1. Transitions between paragraphs are purposeful and well-controlled.
   2. The progression from passive resistance (Galatea) to personal growth (Penelope) to outright defiance (Eurydice) creates a clear developmental arc.
   3. The final comparative paragraph unifies the analysis, showing that the differences between characters ultimately serve Duffy’s broader feminist project.
3. Balanced Discussion
   1. Each poem receives appropriate analytical attention. No text is overemphasised or underexplored.
   2. The essay consistently connects back to the central thesis: how Duffy uses voice to dismantle patriarchal myth.
   3. There’s a strong equilibrium between textual evidence, technique, and thematic evaluation.

Criterion D: Language (5/5)

1. Sophisticated & Precise Academic Writing
   1. The writing is mature, formal, and analytical.
   2. Arguments are articulated with clarity and confidence, avoiding vague generalizations or over-complicated phrasing.
   3. The student demonstrates control of tone and rhetorical focus appropriate for academic writing.
2. Strong Use of Terminology
   1. Literary terms are used effectively and consistently:
      1. Dramatic monologue
      2. Metaphor
      3. Tone
      4. Symbolism
      5. Irony
      6. Possessive determiners
      7. First-person narration
   2. Terminology is integrated fluently, reflecting a deep familiarity with literary analysis.
3. Effective Sentence Structure & Flow
   1. Sentences are well-varied and fluid.
   2. There are no grammatical errors, awkward constructions, or redundancies.
   3. Each paragraph builds logically and fluently toward the overall argument, making the essay easy to read and intellectually compelling.