The Commentary Notes

IB English HL Essay (HLE) Grading Breakdown & Expanded Feedback (20/20)

Criterion A: Knowledge & Interpretation (5/5)

1. Depth of insight & interpretation
   1. The essay does more than just describe Griffiths’ photographs, it analyzes their impact, artistic techniques, and historical relevance.
   2. It moves beyond surface-level discussion by linking Griffiths’ work to broader themes of war propaganda, media influence, and moral corruption.
2. Engagement with the text & global significance
   1. Each paragraph incorporates detailed discussion of Griffiths’ specific images, ensuring close textual analysis.
   2. The essay connects Griffiths’ anti-war message to real-world contexts, making the argument more relevant and sophisticated.
3. Balancing Close & Wide Analysis
   1. The essay zooms in on specific photographs, explaining their composition, angles, lighting, and framing in depth.
   2. It zooms out to discuss how these choices reflect Griffiths’ wider message about war’s brutality and dehumanization.

Criterion B: Analysis & Evaluation (5/5)

1. Depth of Analysis of Literary & Visual Techniques
   1. The essay dissects Griffiths’ use of visual composition, contrast, perspective, and lighting.
   2. It does not just state what the images depict but how Griffiths manipulates visual elements to create meaning.
2. Evaluation of Meaning & Purpose
   1. The essay thoroughly examines Griffiths’ intentions, considering how his work opposes war glorification and subverts traditional war photography.
   2. It engages with multiple interpretations, recognizing how war’s paradox (violence vs. compassion) adds complexity to his message.
3. Consideration of Alternative Perspectives
   1. The essay acknowledges that Griffiths portrays both American soldiers and Vietnamese victims as casualties of war, rather than framing the conflict as purely one-sided.
   2. The discussion of soldiers’ psychological trauma and moral corruption adds nuance, rather than painting them as villains, it presents them as victims of a larger war machine.

Criterion C: Focus & Organization (5/5)

1. Clear & Logical Structure