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History IA Exemplar: Sergei Korolev and Soviet Manned Lunar Failure | RevisionDojo
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IB History SL Internal Assessment Exemplar: To what extent did the death of Sergei Korolev lead to the failure of the Soviet manned lunar program?
To what extent did the death of Sergei Korolev lead to the failure of the Soviet manned lunar program?
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6
Official IB Result
16/25
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General feedback
16/25
0
13
25
4.1·Suggestion
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Ensure consistent tense and grammar—standardizing tense across the question and investigation will improve clarity and professional tone.
4.2·Suggestion
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Break longer blocks of analysis into shorter paragraphs to improve readability and highlight shifts in argument or perspective.
4.3·Question
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How might insights from this investigation inform our understanding of leadership impact in modern space programmes?
Criteria A: Identification and evaluation of sources
5/6
0
3
6
Criteria Strands
Excellent
Research question formulation
Excellent
Source selection and relevance
Excellent
Source analysis and evaluation
Criteria Feedback
The research question is clearly and consistently stated, focused on Korolev’s death, the lunar programme’s failure, and a precise timeframe.
Two highly relevant sources are selected with clear explanations of their relevance to the investigation.
Detailed evaluation of both sources discusses origins, purpose and content, and addresses value and limitations.
The concept of “failure” is not operationally defined, which limits analytical precision.
Analysis could probe more deeply into Harford’s Western perspective and its influence on narrative bias.
Citation formatting is inconsistent (missing URLs, retrieval dates, DOIs) and needs standardization.
1.1·Strength
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The research question is clearly stated, focused on Korolev’s death and the Soviet lunar programme’s failure, demonstrating strong formulation and relevance.
1.2·Suggestion
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The PBS documentary evaluation notes government screening bias; suggest cross-checking with uncensored archival documents for corroboration.
1.3·Strength
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Stating the time frame (1964–1974) alongside the question demonstrates strong alignment of scope and focus for source selection.
1.4·Suggestion
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The evaluation of Harford’s book effectively covers origin and purpose but could probe deeper into Harford’s Western perspective and its influence on narrative bias.
1.5·Question
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The Senate Committee entry lacks a retrieval date or URL; include this information for completeness and traceability.
1.6·Strength
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The bibliography demonstrates a balanced selection of primary and secondary works, supporting comprehensive research.
1.7·Weakness
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Online sources would benefit from stable DOIs or archive links to ensure long-term access and academic rigor.
1.8·Suggestion
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Ensure consistent citation formatting (e.g., punctuation, italics) across all bibliography entries to enhance professionalism.
Criteria B: Investigation
8/15
0
8
15
Criteria Strands
Moderate
Organization and clarity
Moderate
Critical analysis and evidence use
Moderate
Perspective evaluation and conclusion
Criteria Feedback
The investigation is generally clear and well organized, with a coherent introduction, analytical body and reasoned conclusion.
Critical analysis goes beyond description by weighing competing historiographical interpretations and integrating quotations.
Different perspectives are evaluated and synthesised, leading to a balanced conclusion consistent with the evidence.
The term “failure” lacks a defined metric, weakening analytical clarity.
Use of evidence is uneven (e.g., economic data cited without sufficient context or conversion).
Some repetition, minor grammatical lapses and colloquial language (“red moon”) reduce academic polish.
2.1·Suggestion
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Consider specifying measurable criteria for “failure” (e.g., number of failed flights, budget overruns) to tighten the question’s scope and enable precise analysis.
2.2·Suggestion
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Link each source evaluation explicitly to how it will support or constrain your investigation’s argument to strengthen methodological coherence.
2.3·Strength
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The contextual introduction succinctly frames Korolev’s role and the programme’s genesis, supporting reader orientation effectively.
2.4·Suggestion
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Consider integrating more primary testimony (e.g., memos, letters) alongside secondary biographies to diversify perspectives on Korolev’s influence.
2.5·Suggestion
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Dates and statistics benefit clarity, but each claim needs a citation. For example, insert a reference after the 1964 certification date.
2.6·Weakness
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The concept of ‘failure’ is not operationally defined here; specify metrics (e.g., technical setbacks vs. program cancellation) to clarify analytical criteria.
2.7·Suggestion
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After quoting Leonov and Harvey, follow with your own analysis connecting these perspectives to the investigation question.
2.8·Strength
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The integration of multiple historians and firsthand quotes in this analysis paragraph is effective and shows critical engagement.
2.9·Weakness
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The Mishin quote is cut off mid-sentence; ensure full quotations are presented and contextualized to avoid misinterpretation.
2.10·Strength
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The conclusion synthesizes multiple factors and acknowledges complexity, demonstrating clear perspective evaluation.
2.11·Suggestion
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Explicitly restate how your conclusion answers the research question to reinforce clarity and direct linkage.
2.12·Suggestion
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Avoid colloquial expressions like “red moon” in formal analysis; opt for precise academic language to maintain scholarly tone.
Criteria C: Reflection
3/4
0
2
4
Criteria Strands
Excellent
Methods reflection
Good
Historical challenges awareness
Good
Connection to investigation
Criteria Feedback
Reflection demonstrates a clear focus on historical methods and how source analysis shaped the investigation.
There is solid awareness of challenges (government censorship, bias) and methodological limitations.
Links between reflection and the specific investigation are explicit and well maintained.