IB Environmental systems and societies (ESS) - Old SL Internal Assessment Example

The research question is clearly stated, specifying the variable of interest and populations, making it coherent and focused for a data-based investigation.

Consider specifying which three brands are being compared in the research question to remove any remaining ambiguity and focus the scope further.

The inclusion of quantitative data (e.g., "10% of global greenhouse gas emissions") strengthens the context. Consider adding a citation specificity to bolster credibility.

The opening paragraph succinctly outlines key environmental challenges in fashion, establishing a solid context for the investigation.

The transition into greenwashing and company strategies is well placed. To strengthen the connection to your research, explicitly tie these points back to your study’s focus.

The Polish context paragraph outlines local industry impacts well; consider integrating this national example earlier to frame the global issue.

The research question is repeated here; consider referring back briefly rather than duplicating it, to maintain conciseness and avoid redundancy.

The variables table lists your independent, dependent, and controlled variables clearly, but the measurement methods need more detail on data standardization.

The hypothesis is well aligned with the research question, presenting a clear basis for comparative analysis.

The risk assessment outlines that no direct risk exists, but does not address secondary-data reliability or corporate greenwashing. Include these ethical considerations.

The description of how SHEIN, H&M, and Patagonia were selected demonstrates sampling rationale; expand with discussion of potential selection bias.

Table 2 is well labelled and presents SHEIN’s strategies succinctly, aiding clear comparison across key areas.

In Table 3, the units for CO₂ savings switch between “tons” and “metric tons.” Standardize units to maintain clarity.

Table 4 outlines H&M’s strategies effectively but omits baseline values for comparison. Include baseline year metrics for full context.

Table 5 contains extensive quantitative outcomes, but dense formatting reduces readability. Consider simplifying or splitting high-density sections.

The data analysis section should discuss uncertainty or error margins (e.g., in gap calculations) to demonstrate statistical rigour.

Figure 2 visualizes employee counts to contextualize capacity; consider calculating a correlation coefficient to quantify its relationship to sustainability performance.

The gap for SHEIN’s resource efficiency appears miscalculated (“98.9%”); it should be approximately 24.725% (25%–0.275%). Verify and correct this value.

Table 8 provides a comprehensive gap analysis; presenting all brands and areas side by side greatly aids comparison.

Figure 3’s visual summary of gaps improves comprehension. The graphic scaling and labels are clear and effectively communicate key findings.

The conclusion restates brand rankings well but should acknowledge data limitations explicitly to strengthen validity.

Consider incorporating alternative explanations, such as supply chain complexity or geographic distribution, into your conclusion discussion.

Interpretation of gaps omits discussion of potential data bias from corporate self-reporting. Address how greenwashing could affect your conclusions.

The discussion lists factors affecting materials, efficiency, and waste well. To deepen evaluation, explicitly link each factor back to your gap analysis results.

The evaluation section identifies key limitations and future research areas; prioritise improvements that directly address your main methodological weaknesses.

The application proposal for stricter regulations is justified, but the economic feasibility and equity implications require deeper evaluation.

The table of contents is thorough but lacks page numbers, which disrupts navigation. Add page references to enhance structure and reader orientation.

The chemical detail on dyes and fibers is informative but the footnote formatting is inconsistent. Ensure all superscripts and references adhere to a uniform style.

Figure 1 effectively illustrates greenwashing examples; however, the source citation ‘Self-made’ should be complemented by original data references.

The bibliography shows an extensive list but inconsistent citation formats. Adopt a single style guide (e.g., APA or MLA) for consistency.