English B IA Exemplar: Of Mice And Men | RevisionDojo
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IB English B SL Internal Assessment Example
Of Mice And MenSL
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7
Official IB Result
28/30
Criteria A: Language
12/12
0
6
12
Criteria StrandsPro
A.1Vocabulary usage and appropriateness
Excellent
A.2Grammatical structure variety and complexity
Excellent
A.3Language accuracy and communication effectiveness
Excellent
A.4Pronunciation and intonation
Poor
Criteria Feedback
The student uses a precise and mature analytical register throughout.
The student's sentence structures are varied and controlled, including effective complex and contrastive constructions.
The student's vocabulary is nuanced and consistently appropriate to literary analysis.
The student's meaning is consistently clear, with only minor slips that do not hinder communication.
A few phrases repeat the same abstract ideas, so some wording could be more varied.
There are minor proofreading issues, including a small spelling slip and slight punctuation inconsistency.
Some shorter analytical sentences could be made more syntactically varied for even greater sophistication.
1.1·Strength
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The sentence is syntactically controlled and easy to follow, showing that the student can combine contextual information smoothly without sacrificing clarity.
1.2·Strength
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A clear opening establishes topic, author, and text immediately, which gives the oral a confident analytical frame from the start.
1.3·Strength
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The sequence of events is communicated clearly and logically, helping the audience follow the emotional and moral turning point without confusion.
1.4·Strength
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The vocabulary is precise and mature here, especially “structurally unattainable,” which shows strong control of literary analysis language and a nuanced critical register.
1.5·Strength
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The grammar here is accurate and the sentence develops the argument coherently, showing strong control of abstract analysis in complex sentence form.
1.6·Strength
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The student uses an apt literary term concisely and accurately, showing that key concepts are selected purposefully rather than inserted mechanically.
1.7·Suggestion
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The student could vary a few short analytical sentences like this one with slightly more syntactic breadth, which would make the delivery sound even more deliberately shaped.
1.8·Strength
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The sentence balances complexity and clarity well, using a strong contrastive structure to deepen the interpretation without becoming overcomplicated.
1.9·Strength
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Even though there is a minor spelling error in “fututre,” the intended meaning remains completely clear, so communication is not hindered. The overall accuracy is still very strong.
1.10·Suggestion
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The student should proofread for small slips in quotation handling and spelling, since the analysis is already sophisticated enough that minor accuracy issues stand out more than they would in a simpler response.
1.11·Suggestion
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To make the phrasing even sharper, the student could vary some of the repeated abstraction around “instability,” “collapse,” and “dream” with more specific analytical nouns or verbs tied to the extract’s turning point.
1.12·Strength
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This is especially effective phrasing: the contrast between “rhetorically” and “materially” is precise, sophisticated, and clearly supports the argument’s final claim.
1.13·Suggestion
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The final sentence is powerful, but the student should check that it closes with complete punctuation and consider tightening the last clause slightly to maintain maximum control in the conclusion.
Criteria B: Message—Literary Extract
6/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
B.1Relevance to literary extract
Excellent
B.2Use of extract and development of observations
Excellent
Criteria Feedback
The student stays consistently focused on the chosen extract and keeps their argument anchored in that scene.
The student uses textual details effectively to support and extend their interpretation.
The student's observations move beyond simple identification and develop a coherent, convincing reading.
The student connects the extract to the wider work without losing sight of the immediate moment.
The introduction could signal the extract’s significance even more explicitly.
A little more micro-level language analysis would make the interpretation even sharper.
At times, a more direct quotation from the extract would add further precision.
2.1·Strength
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The student uses extract language effectively rather than paraphrasing too generally, which makes the interpretation feel grounded and persuasive.
2.2·Strength
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This is a focused interpretive thesis that stays anchored to the extract while giving the response a clear line of argument.
2.3·Strength
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The student roots the oral firmly in the chosen extract and immediately signals why this moment matters, which supports a consistently relevant presentation.
2.4·Suggestion
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The introduction is strong, but the student could make the extract connection even more explicit here by indicating how this broader argument will be shown in the final scene.
2.5·Suggestion
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The student could strengthen the analysis further by adding one more micro-level language observation here, since the argument is already well developed and would benefit from slightly more textual granularity.
2.6·Strength
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The student’s observation is specific and well explained, showing an effective move from quotation to thematic implication.
2.7·Strength
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This observation is well developed because it moves beyond identification to explain how Steinbeck creates tension through juxtaposition within the scene.
2.8·Question
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What would change in the interpretation if the dream were treated not as simply impossible, but as deliberately sustained by George for emotional survival? That would deepen the complexity of the argument.
2.9·Strength
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The wider-novel observation still serves the extract rather than distracting from it, showing good control of context and scope.
2.10·Strength
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The student stays tightly connected to the extract’s wording and uses it to extend the same central idea, which keeps the analysis consistently relevant.
2.11·Strength
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This is a strong extract-to-whole-text link: the student broadens the idea convincingly without losing focus on the scene itself.
2.12·Strength
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The conclusion returns to the central argument with confidence and closure, which gives the oral a coherent shape from beginning to end.
Criteria C: Message—Conversation
4/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
C.1Response relevance and appropriateness
Poor
C.2Response development and depth
Poor
Criteria Feedback
No conversational exchange is shown, so there is no evidence of how the student responds to questions in real time.
The submission does not demonstrate spontaneous development, adaptation, or follow-up to prompts.
There is no transcript or recording of discussion to show breadth or depth in conversation.
3.1·Suggestion
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For conversation, the student should practise turning analytical statements into shorter, more adaptable responses that can be expanded when prompted.
3.2·Weakness
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No conversational exchange is shown, so there is no evidence of the student responding to questions or adapting ideas spontaneously. A prepared introduction alone cannot demonstrate conversation performance.
3.3·Weakness
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The script shows analytical preparation, but not the breadth or depth of live discussion. For this strand, the student would need to show how they extend or revise ideas in response to prompts.
3.4·Weakness
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The response is thoughtful, but there is no evidence of question-and-answer interaction. To reach this criterion, the student would need a conversation transcript or recording demonstrating relevance and development in real time.
3.5·Suggestion
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If this was intended for an oral discussion, the student should practise adding brief follow-up elaborations after each answer, so the exchange feels responsive rather than pre-scripted.
3.6·Question
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How would the student answer if asked to justify this claim with a contrasting moment from earlier in the novella? Preparing that kind of spontaneous extension would improve conversational depth.
Criteria D: Interactive Skills—Communication
6/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
D.1Comprehension and interaction quality
Poor
D.2Response provision and participation
Poor
Criteria Feedback
There is no evidence of interaction with an interlocutor.
The submission does not show whether the student understood, sustained, or adapted responses during discussion.
Without audio, video, or transcript evidence, participation and independent contribution cannot be judged.
4.1·Weakness
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There is no evidence of interaction with an examiner, so comprehension and responsiveness cannot be demonstrated from this submission alone. This strand requires sustained back-and-forth, not only a prepared monologue.
4.2·Strength
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As a prepared response, this shows strong comprehension of the text and clear analytical purpose. The main limitation is that the submission does not include the interaction needed to demonstrate this criterion fully.
4.3·Weakness
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The student’s preparation is clear, but the record does not show whether they understood or responded to follow-up questions. Without that exchange, interaction quality cannot be credited.
4.4·Weakness
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The analysis is coherent, but it remains one-sided on the page. To assess communication, there needs to be evidence that the student can sustain dialogue and adjust explanations in response to prompts.
4.5·Suggestion
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In a live exchange, the student should practise adding short signposting phrases such as “for example” or “this suggests” to make answers easier to follow and extend verbally.
4.6·Suggestion
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The student should practise building on a prompt with an extra example or clarification, since that would show more sustained participation in an oral exchange.
4.7·Question
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If an examiner asked for clarification, how would the student rephrase this idea more simply and then extend it with a supporting example? That would better evidence interactive control.