IB Chinese B HL Internal Assessment Example

The miswritten term “熊度” should be “態度”; this character error obscures the intended meaning and interrupts reader comprehension.

Clarity suffers in “缺為了父母拔山涉水” due to a missing particle; revise to “不惜拔山涉水” for grammatical correctness.

The phrase “語言遲緩 chi huan” mixes pinyin and characters improperly; correct the terminology to maintain accuracy.

Mixing pinyin (“wei chi”, “chuan cheng”) with Chinese characters disrupts fluency; use standard characters or provide pinyin in parentheses.

Typographical error: “安德勒” should be “安德烈”; ensure correct naming to maintain authorial accuracy.

The long run-on sentence describing European versus Hong Kong coffee culture would benefit from being split and punctuated to demonstrate complex structures.

Romanization (“su zao”, “fu vu”) in the body text interrupts reader flow; replace with the correct Chinese characters for clarity.

Incorrect phrasing “缺為了父母拔山涉水”; revise to “不惜拔山涉水” to convey the intended meaning and improve accuracy.

The introduction effectively situates the extract within the larger correspondence and clearly identifies the theme of cross‐cultural dialogue, demonstrating sustained relevance to the literary extract.

The sentence “節選第二段主要說的是…真需要很長的時間” remains descriptive; consider examining the rhetorical effect of the quoted phrase.

The comparison of Germany and Taiwan is noted, but the commentary would benefit from deeper analysis of how specific images reinforce the author’s message.

The concluding personal reflection is heartfelt but shifts away from textual analysis; focus on literary techniques or language features to strengthen the extract discussion.

Summary of the first paragraph reduces the nuance of the narrator’s attitude; consider analyzing the tone and word choice for deeper insight.

Introduction omits quotation marks around the extract title; precise presentation of titles enhances academic register.

The personal rebuttal at the end shifts register abruptly; maintain an analytical tone and integrate textual evidence for consistency.

The reflection on personal values is sincere but should link back to narrative strategies used in the extract (e.g. rhetorical questions) for a cohesive analysis.

Introduction is clear but generic; explicitly state why this extract’s theme of growth is significant to the broader work.

The overview of the opening paragraph remains descriptive; deepen by examining how the narrative perspective establishes empathy.

The final answer reiterates the extract’s summary rather than exploring broader social implications; consider adding real-world examples to strengthen the argument.

The discussion of code‐switching is informative but could better tie back to the notion of cultural identity from the extract.

List of advantages is concise but remains abstract; expand each point with a concrete example to demonstrate depth.

Answer phrasing is abrupt; adding transitions (例如“首先”、“此外”) would improve coherence.