World Studies Extended Essay Exemplar: Why does “Almost nobody care”… | RevisionDojo
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IB World Studies SL Extended Essay Example
Why does “Almost nobody care” about the
conflict in Sudan, as suggested by Jonathan Freedland?SL
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A
Official IB Result
IB Grade: A
Criteria A: Framework for the Essay
4/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
A.1Research question
Good
A.2Research methods
Good
A.3Structure
Excellent
Criteria Feedback
The research question is clear, relevant to Global Politics, and anchored in a real contemporary issue.
The essay has a coherent overall progression from context to theory to explanation, with useful counterargument material.
The chosen structure helps the reader follow the investigation and locate the main lines of reasoning easily.
Key terms in the question, especially “care” and “almost nobody,” are not defined precisely enough.
The question is still too broad for a tightly focused 4,000-word investigation because it does not specify which actors or which form of response is being examined.
Some structural elements support communication well, but the chaptering occasionally overreaches what the evidence can securely show.
Criteria B: Knowledge and Understanding
5/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
B.1Knowledge
Excellent
B.2Understanding (Terminology)
Excellent
B.3Understanding (Concepts)
Good
Criteria Feedback
The essay shows strong knowledge of the Sudan conflict, its main actors, and the wider international context.
Relevant political terminology is used accurately and consistently in most places.
The source base is broad and includes academic theory, institutional material, journalism, and interview evidence.
Some concepts are handled in a somewhat generalized way, especially where realism is treated as the default explanation.
A few theoretical distinctions are not fully precise and would benefit from tighter application to the argument.
Some evidence is drawn from journalistic or secondary sources without enough source evaluation or corroboration.
Criteria C: Analysis and Line of Argument
4/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
C.1Analysis
Good
C.2Line of argument
Good
Criteria Feedback
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Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
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Criteria D: Discussion and Evaluation
4/8
0
4
8
Criteria StrandsPro
D.1Discussion
Moderate
D.2Evaluation
Poor
Criteria Feedback
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.
Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur.
Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.
Criteria F: Formatting
Criteria StrandsPro
F.1The student provides a word count at the beginning of the document
F.2The title of the essay is stated at the start
F.3The work does not surpass the maximum word limit of 4000 words
F.4The pages are numbered
Criteria Feedback
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.
Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur.
Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.