IB World Studies SL Extended Essay Example

The research question is prominently stated and clearly defines variables and context, effectively focusing the investigation from the outset.

The theme and subjects are clearly defined, establishing a strong interdisciplinary foundation between biology and psychology.

The introduction outlines background well but does not yet clarify how correlation versus causation will be distinguished; consider adding explicit definitions and scope.

The methodology section briefly lists sources but lacks discussion of sampling criteria, ethical considerations, and potential biases.

Animal model methods are mentioned but not justified in relation to human populations; clarify sampling and translational limitations.

The review of methodology is concise but lacks discussion of data triangulation and ethical considerations; expand to justify your approach’s rigour.

Terminology like “auto-immune” is hyphenated inconsistently throughout; standardize spelling (autoimmune) to maintain professional consistency.

Expert interview excerpts provide valuable insight into inflammatory mechanisms and psychosocial factors.

Maintain consistent terminology by choosing either “autoimmune” or “auto-immune” and applying it throughout the report.

The state-by-state CDC statistics are well integrated and enrich the epidemiological context of the argument.

Acronyms such as NSAIDs and DMARDs should be spelled out at first mention (e.g., Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs) to aid reader comprehension.

Much of the biological description is solid, but the text often remains narrative rather than critically evaluating competing theories.

The discussion of HLA allele associations would benefit from quantitative measures (e.g., odds ratios) to strengthen the genetic argument.

The comorbidity section outlines various conditions but does not explicitly link back to the core research question; strengthen connections.

The large cohort study is cited but lacks discussion of statistical thresholds (e.g., p-values); include this to substantiate claims of significance.

The role of HPA axis dysregulation is noted but not fully dissected; add deeper mechanistic analysis linking stress hormones to cytokine activity.

Although descriptive epidemiology is strong, the causal pathways behind geographic variation remain unexplored; include analysis of potential social or environmental drivers.

The debate sections are structured logically, but the Land et al. study’s methodological limits are not critiqued; add evaluation of its external validity.

Several entries in the table of contents lack page numbers, which makes navigation difficult; ensure each heading has a corresponding page reference.

Footnote formatting is inconsistent, mixing MLA and APA conventions; adopt a uniform citation style throughout.

The inline fraction “\frac{2}{3}” appears as raw MathML rather than formatted LaTeX; ensure all equations follow the $...$ convention.

The visual effectively conveys mechanistic detail but is not analyzed in-text; integrate interpretation of key features into the discussion.

Figure 1 is relevant but the caption only cites the source; include a brief description of what the figure illustrates to guide the reader.

Figure 2 is referred to in italics but lacks an explicit caption and figure number in the list; add a clear numbered caption.

Several figures on page 10 appear without captions or axis labels; include clear titles, units, and legend descriptions for each graphic.

Ensure each graph includes axis labels and units (e.g., % prevalence, age groups) so readers can interpret the data without ambiguity.

The works-cited list exhibits inconsistent formatting and incomplete entries; standardize according to a single citation style and complete missing details.

No RPPF or reflective comments are included, so engagement criteria cannot be assessed; include reflective planning and challenges in an RPPF section.