IB Psychology SL Extended Essay Example

The student defines key terms before the argument begins, which strengthens focus and prevents the essay from drifting into vague opinion. Operationalizing the question like this gives the later evidence a clear standard to answer.

This claim is too broad and reads as if all clinicians share the same reluctance. The student should qualify the statement, identify which professionals or settings are being discussed, and distinguish between diagnostic caution and outright rejection.

The student could narrow the opening further by explaining why prevalence is relevant to validity and benefit. Linking this statistic more explicitly to the research question would make the topic communication even sharper.

The student states the investigation aim clearly and keeps both parts of the question in view. This makes the purpose easy to follow and shows good control of focus from the outset.

How will the student weigh these benefits against harms if they do not all point in the same direction? A more explicit ranking of what counts most in this essay would make the method of judgment stronger.

The section title signals a purposeful analytical structure and helps the reader see how the essay will address one half of the question. This is an effective way to maintain coherence.

The student could make the structure more methodical by grouping these issues under a few precise subheadings, such as comorbidity, developmental overlap, stigma, and treatment access. That would help the investigation answer each part of the question more systematically.

The reference entry is incomplete. The student should provide full publication details, including publisher information and a consistent citation style, so the source base is easier to verify and use methodically.

The student shows solid foundational knowledge by linking personality development to the later discussion of adolescent diagnosis. This helps establish the psychological context for the essay’s argument.

The student uses subject-specific terminology accurately and distinguishes diagnosis from outcome, which is important in a psychology essay. This precision helps prevent the argument from collapsing validity into benefit.

The student could explain how these comorbidities complicate diagnosis rather than simply listing them. For example, showing which symptoms overlap would demonstrate more precise subject understanding.

This statement is too absolute and sits awkwardly beside the later discussion of remission and recovery. The student should use more careful clinical language, because BPD can be severe without being inevitably unchangeable.

The student demonstrates good understanding of developmental overlap and diagnostic ambiguity. This is an appropriate psychological lens for the question and shows awareness of why adolescent diagnosis is debated.

The wording here is imprecise for a clinical essay. The student should define what is meant by “remediated” and distinguish symptom reduction from full recovery or remission.

The student could strengthen source application by briefly noting what a cross-sectional design can and cannot show. That would demonstrate clearer understanding of how much weight the study should carry.

This inference is too strong. Correlation with brain maturation does not by itself prove diagnostic validity, so the student should avoid presenting neurobiological association as direct confirmation of the disorder.

The student selects research that is directly relevant to the validity problem, because comorbidity is central to differential diagnosis. This makes the evidence choice purposeful rather than decorative.

The student uses a substantial empirical example to support the stigma discussion. The sample size and direct relevance to clinician attitudes make this evidence persuasive for the argument.

The student brings in study-level evidence rather than relying only on broad claims. This improves the credibility of the argument and shows relevant research selection.

The student reports the study’s conclusion as if it resolves the issue outright. A stronger analysis would ask whether the sample, setting, and design justify such a broad claim about all adolescents.

This conclusion moves too quickly from treatment availability to the benefit of diagnosis itself. The student should separate evidence that therapy works from evidence that the diagnosis leads to better outcomes.

The student could strengthen the argument by noting whether DBT-A is evidence of benefit from the diagnosis itself or simply evidence that treatment can help once symptoms are identified. That distinction would make the reasoning more critical.

Does this evidence show that the diagnosis is beneficial, or only that earlier intervention is beneficial? Clarifying that distinction would deepen the analysis and prevent overclaiming.

The evaluation here is asserted rather than demonstrated. The student should explain why clinician expertise does not weaken reliability concerns, especially when the essay has already discussed overlap and misdiagnosis.

The conclusion would be stronger if these conditions were turned into a brief evaluative framework. For example, the student could state what evidence would make diagnosis more justified, and what evidence would make it less so.

The student includes a clear contents page, which supports navigation and shows an appropriate extended-essay structure. This helps the argument feel organized and intentional.

This sentence also affects presentation because it introduces a very strong claim without careful qualification. The student should present such statements in a more measured way so the argument appears academically balanced.

The section headings are purposeful and help separate the argument into manageable parts. That structure suits the research question and makes the discussion easier to track.

The student could improve paragraph organization by using transitional sentences that explicitly connect each section back to validity or benefit. That would make the progression between sections more transparent.

The student could make the structure even more effective by breaking the evaluation into shorter thematic paragraphs. That would reduce the sense of a summary block and increase the visibility of distinct lines of judgment.

The concluding section is clearly signposted, which helps the reader follow the move from analysis to judgment. This is good structural control and improves readability.