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History Extended Essay Exemplar: DR Congo Resources and Second Congo… | RevisionDojo
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IB History SL Extended Essay Exemplar: To what extent did the Democratic Republic of the Congo's abundant coltan, diamonds, and gold contribute to the escalation of the Second Congo War in Eastern DRC from 1998 to 2003?
To what extent did the Democratic Republic of the Congo's abundant coltan, diamonds, and gold contribute to the escalation of the Second Congo War in Eastern DRC from 1998 to 2003?
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B
Official IB Result
25/34
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Criteria A: Focus and Method
5/6
0
3
6
Criteria Strands
Excellent
Topic communication and appropriateness
Excellent
Research question clarity and focus
Good
Methodology completeness and appropriateness
Criteria Feedback
Title and introduction identify a precise timeframe, geographic focus, and specific minerals.
Research question is narrow, prominently stated, and drives sustained focus.
Methodology includes a range of relevant sources with clear justification for selection.
Minor wording lapses occasionally cloud clarity.
Investigation relies heavily on secondary sources; lacks broader primary‐source diversity.
Citation style is inconsistent and the table of contents formatting is defective.
1.1·Strength
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The title clearly communicates the subject area and scope of the investigation, providing an accurate historical lens.
1.2·Suggestion
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The working title is overly verbose and replicates the research question; consider shortening for conciseness while retaining key variables.
1.3·Strength
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The research question is prominently stated and narrowly focused, supporting a clear investigative path.
1.4·Suggestion
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Consider specifying criteria for source evaluation to strengthen clarity of methodological selection.
1.5·Strength
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The introduction outlines source selection (UN reports, scholarly articles) and justifies their relevance.
1.6·Weakness
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Reliance on secondary sources only narrows methodological breadth; integrate newspapers or archives for a more robust primary base.
Criteria B: Knowledge and Understanding
5/6
0
3
6
Criteria Strands
Excellent
Application of source material
Excellent
Subject knowledge and understanding
Excellent
Use of terminology and concepts
Criteria Feedback
Demonstrates coherent subject knowledge of post-colonial history, geopolitics, and “resource curse” theory.
Accurate and consistent use of key terminology such as “conflict economy” and “patrimonial rule.”
Source material is effectively integrated into explanations, showing purposeful application.
A few factual inaccuracies (e.g., references outside the 1998–2003 period).
Some references are mis-formatted or lack direct quotation, making evidence implicit.
Minor typographical errors detract from overall polish.
2.1·Strength
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The statement linking resource wealth to colonial exploitation provides a coherent historical rationale.
2.2·Strength
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The introduction effectively sets context for the study, situating minerals within global industries and conflict dynamics.
2.3·Strength
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The application of “resource curse” theory is well integrated, linking concept directly to the case study.
2.4·Suggestion
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A key statistic (millions of refugees) lacks citation here; include a specific source reference to validate the claim.
2.5·Strength
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The link between Mobutu’s kleptocracy and state fragility is clearly articulated, demonstrating strong subject understanding.
2.6·Weakness
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The claim “in the mid-to-late 2000s” exceeds the study’s period; ensure temporal references remain within 1998–2003.
Criteria C: Critical Thinking
9/12
0
6
12
Criteria Strands
Moderate
Research quality
Moderate
Analysis depth
Moderate
Discussion and evaluation
Criteria Feedback
Research selection is consistently appropriate and directly relevant to the research question.
Analysis links theoretical frameworks to case evidence, supporting well-focused conclusions.
Arguments engage with competing interpretations and critically acknowledge source bias.
Limited inclusion of primary Congolese voices and quantitative data.
Critical evaluation of secondary sources is uneven, with some sections remaining descriptive.
Discussion lacks deeper comparative analysis of different minerals’ relative significance.
3.1·Strength
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Acknowledgement of potential bias in UN reports demonstrates critical engagement with source reliability.
3.2·Suggestion
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A more explicit connection between theoretical concepts (e.g. “ethnic clientelism”) and case evidence would deepen analysis.
3.3·Strength
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Turner’s argument is integrated to nuance security and profit motives – a solid analytical linkage.
3.4·Strength
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Prunier’s analysis is used effectively to connect foreign intervention with resource extraction.
Criteria D: Presentation
2/4
0
2
4
Criteria Strands
Good
Structure appropriateness
Poor
Layout and formatting
Criteria Feedback
Overall structure is logical with all required elements and clear section headings.
Section titles (e.g., “Historical Context”) aid reader navigation.
Table of contents exhibits formatting errors and LaTeX artifacts.
Inconsistent citation style, irregular spacing, and numerous typographical mistakes.
Page numbering is unclear and narrative occasionally uses run-on sentences.
4.1·Weakness
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Several entries in the contents lack page numbers or have misaligned numbers, reducing usability.
4.2·Suggestion
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Artifact “\label{thm:nonlinear}” appears in contents; remove LaTeX code or replace with clear section numbering.
4.3·Weakness
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The table of contents is present but formatting disruptions (misplaced columns) hinder navigation.
