History Extended Essay Exemplar: To what extent did the… | RevisionDojo
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IB History SL Extended Essay Example
To what extent did the cross-shareholding mechanism delay the Japanese ‘Big Bang’ financial reform until 1997?SL
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B
Official IB Result
IB Grade: B
Criteria A: Focus and Method
5/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
A.1Topic communication and appropriateness
Excellent
A.2Research question clarity and focus
Good
A.3Methodology completeness and appropriateness
Moderate
Criteria Feedback
The student communicates a specific and historically grounded topic with clear relevance to the post-bubble Japanese financial crisis.
The student's research question is focused and framed as an extent judgment, which gives the investigation a clear direction.
The student uses a relevant mix of academic sources and shows awareness that the topic benefits from both primary and secondary evidence.
The student's purpose and line of argument remain mostly clear throughout the essay.
The source base is narrower in practice than the introduction suggests, with heavy reliance on secondary material.
The methodology would be stronger if the student explained more clearly how sources were selected and weighed.
The discussion sometimes broadens into background explanation rather than staying tightly on the exact research question.
The student should connect the causal chain more explicitly so the link between cross-shareholding and delayed reform is shown step by step.
Criteria B: Knowledge and Understanding
4/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
B.1Application of source material
Good
B.2Subject knowledge and understanding
Good
B.3Use of terminology and concepts
Good
Criteria Feedback
The student demonstrates clear understanding of the post-bubble Japanese financial system and the institutions involved.
The student's source material is mostly relevant to the research question and is applied in a generally appropriate way.
The student uses subject-specific terminology accurately and usually introduces it in a way that supports the analysis.
The student shows awareness of how the same financial mechanisms could contribute to both growth and later crisis.
The source base is somewhat narrow for such a broad causal claim, and several sources are reused across multiple points.
Some complex relationships are asserted more than demonstrated, especially where several institutions and policy effects are combined.
The student sometimes blends distinct concepts such as cross-shareholding, the main-bank system, and the convoy system without fully separating their roles.
The use of terminology is generally accurate, but greater precision would improve conceptual control.
Criteria C: Critical Thinking
8/12
0
6
12
Criteria StrandsPro
C.1Research quality
Moderate
C.2Analysis depth
Moderate
C.3Discussion and evaluation
Moderate
Criteria Feedback
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Criteria D: Presentation
2/4
0
2
4
Criteria StrandsPro
D.1Structure appropriateness
Excellent
D.2Layout and formatting
Excellent
Criteria Feedback
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.
Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat.
Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur.
Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.