English A Lit Extended Essay Exemplar: How does Daniel Keyes’… | RevisionDojo
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IB English A Lit SL Extended Essay Example
How does Daniel Keyes’ Flowers for Algernon critique society’s mistreatment of individuals with intellectual disabilities through Charlie’s character development?SL
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B
Official IB Result
24/34
Criteria A: Focus and Method
5/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
A.1Topic communication and clarity
Excellent
A.2Research question focus and appropriateness
Excellent
A.3Methodology completeness and effectiveness
Good
Criteria Feedback
The student's investigation stays clearly anchored to a literary question and maintains a sustained line of inquiry throughout most of the essay.
The student uses a range of relevant critical sources to support their discussion and shows clear awareness of how they connect to the novel.
The student's central idea remains readable and purposeful, especially in the sections on Charlie’s development, narrative voice, and exclusion.
The introduction spends too long on plot summary before moving into analysis.
The student's focus sometimes broadens from characterisation into wider discussion of prejudice, which makes the analytical purpose slightly less precise.
Some sections could explain more clearly why the critical frameworks were chosen and how they shape the student's own interpretation.
1.1·Suggestion
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To make the focus even sharper, the student could narrow “society’s mistreatment” to one or two specific forms of prejudice, such as language, institutional power, or conditional acceptance. That would make the line of inquiry more manageable and help the essay stay tightly connected to the author’s craft.
1.2·Strength
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The title clearly signals the literary focus and identifies both the character and text under investigation. This gives the essay a precise academic purpose from the outset, which is a strong foundation for a focused investigation.
1.3·Strength
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The research question is specific, text-based, and clearly literary in nature. It also names both the social concern and the analytical lens, which helps keep the discussion anchored to Charlie’s development rather than drifting into general summary.
1.4·Suggestion
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The student could remove the trailing dash and make the section heading more polished and consistent. Small presentational refinements like this help the investigation look more deliberate and professionally organised.
1.5·Weakness
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This introduction gives useful plot context, but it spends quite a long time on summary before moving into analysis. The student should move more quickly from plot to interpretive purpose so the introduction establishes not just what happens, but why those details matter for the argument.
1.6·Strength
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The roadmap is effective because it previews the essay’s analytical route and makes the overall structure easy to follow. Stating the four main lenses up front helps the reader see that the argument is planned rather than a series of isolated points.
Criteria B: Knowledge and Understanding
5/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
B.1Knowledge of topic and sources
Good
B.2Use of terminology and concepts
Good
Criteria Feedback
The student shows strong knowledge of the novel’s plot, characters, and ethical concerns, especially Charlie’s changing awareness and the treatment he receives from others.
The student uses literary terminology confidently and usually connects it to textual evidence.
The student demonstrates a clear understanding of major techniques such as narration, symbolism, and foreshadowing.
Some critical terms are used a little broadly, so the exact effect of the technique is not always fully distinguished.
The student's use of secondary sources is often accurate, but the engagement with them is sometimes more confirmatory than deeply analytical.
A few moments would benefit from closer attention to the precise wording and form of the text.
2.1·Strength
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This is a strong interpretive claim because it identifies a precise moment in the novel and explains its ethical significance. The student shows clear understanding of how scientific discourse becomes a vehicle for dehumanisation.
2.2·Strength
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The student demonstrates good understanding of narrative technique by linking unreliable narration to reader positioning and prejudice. This works well because it shows not only what the technique is, but how it shapes the reader’s ethical response.
2.3·Weakness
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The term “omniscience” is not quite accurate here, because the reader is not truly all-knowing in the novel’s narration. The student should distinguish more carefully between reader inference, narrative unreliability, and omniscient perspective to avoid mixing concepts.
2.4·Suggestion
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The analysis would be stronger if the student unpacked the exact wording of the sentence and explained how its brevity mirrors Charlie’s emotional shock. Zooming in on diction and syntax would make the commentary on technique more precise.
2.5·Weakness
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This point is valid, but it remains fairly general and could be supported more directly by close analysis of the conference scene. The student should identify the exact language or actions that make the treatment feel objectifying, rather than relying mainly on summary.
2.6·Strength
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The student shows strong knowledge of the novel’s symbolic structure by explaining Algernon’s dual role as mirror and warning. This is effective because it connects plot function to thematic development rather than treating the mouse as a mere plot device.
2.7·Suggestion
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The student could strengthen this paragraph by making the link between moral agency and characterisation even more explicit. Explaining how the burial changes the reader’s understanding of Charlie would deepen the literary analysis.
Criteria C: Critical Thinking
8/12
0
6
12
Criteria StrandsPro
C.1Research quality and relevance
Moderate
C.2Analysis depth and effectiveness
Moderate
C.3Discussion and evaluation
Moderate
Criteria Feedback
The student's argument is coherent and returns consistently to the idea that Charlie’s value is treated as conditional by society.
The student uses textual detail well in several places, especially when discussing changes in narration, emotional wording, and the dehumanising language used by others.
The student builds a clear overall line of interpretation that stays connected to the novel’s ethical and social concerns.
Some analysis still stays at the level of explanation rather than sustained close reading.
The student's discussion of secondary criticism is not always developed far enough to test or complicate their own argument.
A few sections would be stronger if they compared relationships and scenes more directly instead of treating examples separately.
3.1·Strength
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This is effective analysis because it connects form directly to characterisation. The student notices how linguistic development mirrors Charlie’s growth, which supports the central argument with a clear textual feature.
3.2·Strength
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The student makes a persuasive observation here by using Charlie’s abrupt sentence to show the emotional force of self-recognition. This is a good example of close reading because the textual detail is tied to a broader social critique.
3.3·Weakness
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This is a clear summary of the paragraph’s argument, but it stays at a high level and does not fully analyse how those effects are produced. The student should unpack specific moments of language, structure, or irony to move from explanation into deeper critical analysis.
3.4·Question
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If intelligence is the main lens through which others view Charlie, what does the novel suggest about the limits of those relationships? The student could explore whether Keyes presents any character as capable of seeing Charlie beyond usefulness, and what that reveals about the essay’s argument.
3.5·Weakness
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The claim is convincing, but it would be stronger if the student explained how the bakery scene specifically exposes conditional acceptance. At the moment, the conclusion is asserted more than demonstrated, so the analysis needs more textual unpacking.
3.6·Strength
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The student is successfully using contrast to develop an interpretive point about emotional distance and alienation. This works because the analysis does more than retell the scene; it explains how tone contributes to meaning.
3.7·Suggestion
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The student could elevate this section by comparing the relationships more directly rather than treating them as a list of examples. A more comparative structure would help show how Keyes varies the forms of exclusion across social, intimate, and institutional contexts.
3.8·Weakness
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This is an important critical claim, but the essay does not yet evaluate it in enough depth. The student should weigh Cline’s concern against the essay’s own argument so the discussion becomes more critical rather than simply descriptive of a secondary source.
3.9·Strength
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The ending is interpreted thoughtfully and the student clearly connects it back to the essay’s central claim about human dignity. This creates a strong sense of closure and shows consistent argument development.
3.10·Suggestion
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The student could make this argument even more compelling by acknowledging the novel’s ambiguity: Charlie’s regression is tragic, but the essay could explain more carefully why the social response is the deeper ethical failure. That would make the evaluation more nuanced.
3.11·Strength
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This sentence shows a coherent line of argument because it ties narrative technique to the essay’s main social critique. The student is effective here in turning textual form into evaluative meaning.
3.12·Suggestion
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The conclusion would be stronger if it acknowledged one or two counter-arguments from the essay, such as the possible stigma in the novel’s tragic structure. That would show a more fully critical evaluation rather than only reaffirming the thesis.
Criteria D: Presentation
2/4
0
2
4
Criteria StrandsPro
D.1Structure appropriateness
Excellent
D.2Layout and formatting
Moderate
Criteria Feedback
The essay has the core structural elements expected in an academic investigation, including a title, contents page, introduction, body, conclusion, bibliography, and page numbers.
The overall sequence of ideas is easy to follow, and the reader can move through the essay without difficulty.
The student has made a clear effort to present the work in an organised academic format.
Some formatting details are inconsistent, especially in the bibliography and footnotes.
There are a few layout issues such as unused space and incomplete entries on the contents page.
A more uniform citation style and cleaner final formatting would make the submission look much more polished.
4.1·Strength
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The submission includes a word count, which meets the required administrative convention for the investigation. This is a useful sign of awareness of the formal expectations of the task.
4.2·Strength
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The document includes page numbering, which supports navigation and shows attention to required academic presentation conventions.
4.3·Strength
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The title appears at the start of the report, which supports a clear academic opening. This helps the reader immediately identify the investigation’s topic and literary focus.
4.4·Strength
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The inclusion of a contents page and the clear sequencing of sections make the investigation easy to navigate. This is a strong structural choice because it helps the reader follow the essay’s progression through the different analytical lenses.
4.5·Weakness
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This entry is incomplete, which makes the contents page look unfinished. The student should ensure all section titles are fully and consistently presented so the structure appears polished and reliable.
4.6·Strength
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The introduction is clearly signposted and appears in the expected place, which supports the overall organisation of the essay. This helps establish a professional academic structure from the beginning.
4.7·Suggestion
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The section title is clear and informative, and the student could make the presentation even stronger by using parallel wording across all subsection headings. Consistent heading style would create a more unified visual and structural rhythm throughout the essay.
4.8·Weakness
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This reference is also formatted inconsistently and lacks several details that would normally be needed for a full bibliography entry. The student should correct the style, punctuation, and missing publication information to improve the reliability of the research presentation.
4.9·Weakness
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This bibliography entry is inconsistent in punctuation, quotation marks, and publication details. The student should standardise all references in one citation style so the final pages look more academically controlled.