Biology Extended Essay Exemplar: An Investigation on the Effect of… | RevisionDojo
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IB Biology SL Extended Essay Example
An Investigation on the Effect of Fluoride Concentration on Enamel RemineralizationSL
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A
Official IB Result
30/34
Criteria A: Focus and Method
6/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
A.1Topic communication and explanation
Excellent
A.2Research question formulation and focus
Good
A.3Methodology appropriateness and completeness
Good
Criteria Feedback
The student communicates a clear and relevant investigation topic with a strong sense of purpose.
The student's research question is measurable and connected to a real biological issue.
The student's method is generally detailed and shows thoughtful planning, including replication and controlled measurements.
The student's question includes more than one variable, which makes the investigation less focused.
The use of different commercial mouthwashes makes it difficult to isolate fluoride as the only cause of the effects observed.
Some scientific explanations overstate how directly the eggshell model represents human enamel.
1.1·Weakness
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The question is measurable, but it is overloaded with two independent variables and several product-specific details. Because the mouthwash brands differ, the investigation cannot isolate fluoride concentration alone. The student should narrow the wording or redesign the method so only one factor changes at a time.
1.2·Strength
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The title clearly signals the biological focus and the intended outcome of the investigation. This helps frame the report from the outset and gives the reader an immediate sense of the topic being studied.
1.3·Strength
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The introduction shows a clear personal rationale and links the topic to a real-world health concern. That relevance improves focus because the reader can see why the investigation matters beyond the laboratory.
1.4·Weakness
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This background is generally clear, but the claim that enamel “prevents” damage is too absolute. A stronger explanation would note that enamel reduces risk but can still demineralize under prolonged acid exposure, which would make the later discussion of erosion more precise.
1.5·Weakness
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The justification overstates the equivalence between eggshell and enamel. Eggshell is calcium carbonate, while enamel is hydroxyapatite, so the model can only approximate acid dissolution rather than directly represent remineralization in teeth. The student should acknowledge this limitation explicitly in the rationale.
1.6·Question
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What assumption is being made here about the composition and purity of the eggshell, and how might that affect the claim that the acid volume was stoichiometrically sufficient in every trial?
1.7·Weakness
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This contains a scientific terminology error: eggshells are not from “oviparity mammals.” The student should use accurate biological language here and, if necessary, simply state that different bird eggshells can vary in thickness and composition.
Criteria B: Knowledge and Understanding
6/6
0
3
6
Criteria StrandsPro
B.1Application of source material
Good
B.2Use of terminology and concepts
Good
Criteria Feedback
The student uses a broad range of relevant scientific sources to build context and support their explanation.
The student generally applies scientific terminology accurately and with confidence.
The student makes a genuine attempt to connect their sources to their own investigation and findings.
Some source use is descriptive rather than analytical, so it supports background more strongly than interpretation.
The model system is sometimes treated as if it were equivalent to human enamel, which weakens accuracy.
A few statistical and chemical terms are used imprecisely or inconsistently.
2.1·Strength
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The student gives a clear scientific definition and immediately ties it to the relevance of pH. This supports understanding because the mechanism is explained, not merely named.
2.2·Strength
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This is a strong use of chemistry terminology because it explains the process mechanistically. The student shows understanding by connecting ion exchange, hydroxyapatite, and fluorapatite rather than relying on vague description.
2.3·Weakness
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The application of source material becomes weaker here because the model system is treated as chemically equivalent to enamel. The student should distinguish between a useful proxy and a direct substitute, otherwise later conclusions about enamel and remineralization become overstated.
2.4·Weakness
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The chemistry is mostly correct, but the repeated use of the same concentration language would be stronger if it explicitly linked pH to reaction rate and dissolution of calcium carbonate. The student should avoid describing pH as something that itself “reacts” and instead focus on the ions it represents.
2.5·Question
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How does this percentage actually demonstrate remineralization rather than simply reduced dissolution or greater mass retention? A more cautious interpretation would strengthen the scientific accuracy of the report.
Criteria C: Critical Thinking
10/12
0
6
12
Criteria StrandsPro
C.1Research analysis
Moderate
C.2Discussion and evaluation
Moderate
C.3Argument development
Moderate
Criteria Feedback
The student presents a coherent line of argument from background, to method, to results, to conclusion.
The student's data analysis is relevant and includes processed values, variability measures, graphs, and statistical testing.
The student evaluates important limitations and suggests realistic improvements.
Some conclusions extend beyond what the experiment directly measured.
The statistical interpretation is not always precise, especially in the way hypothesis testing is described.
The strongest limitation of the design is not fully addressed: the mouthwash formulations differ in more than just fluoride content.
3.1·Strength
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The student shows the calculation transparently, which makes the data processing easy to follow and check. This is good analytical practice because the reader can see how the final values were obtained from the raw measurements.
3.2·Weakness
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The formula uses absolute values, so it cannot show whether mass increased or decreased. Because the report later interprets “mass decrease,” the student should define the direction of change more carefully or use a signed percentage change formula.
3.3·Strength
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The processed table brings together several useful measures in one place, which supports comparison across conditions. Including mean, spread, and uncertainty helps the analysis move beyond raw data toward interpretation.
3.4·Weakness
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There is an internal inconsistency between the figure caption and the table below, which is labelled “Type III Sum of Squares.” The student should make the ANOVA reporting consistent, because the choice of sum-of-squares type affects how the analysis is interpreted.
3.5·Weakness
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The statistical interpretation is not fully correct here: when p<α, the null hypothesis is rejected, not “accepted” or “proved false” in a literal sense. The student should use consistent hypothesis-testing language throughout the analysis.
3.6·Question
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Does partial eta squared really mean that only random error explains the remaining variation? The student may want to reconsider whether other uncontrolled factors, especially the different mouthwash formulations, could also contribute to the variance.
3.7·Weakness
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The conclusion goes beyond what the experiment directly measured. The data show retained eggshell mass, not fluorapatite formation or tooth enamel remineralization. The student should rephrase this as an association between the tested treatments and eggshell mass retention.
3.8·Weakness
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This is a thoughtful comparison, but it still treats the mass change as direct evidence of demineralization in enamel. The student should keep the argument tied to the model system and avoid extending the conclusion to tooth enamel without qualification.
Criteria D: Presentation
3/4
0
2
4
Criteria StrandsPro
D.1Structure appropriateness
Excellent
D.2Layout and formatting
Good
Criteria Feedback
The student's report has a clear overall structure that is easy to follow.
Tables, figures, captions, page numbers, and sectioning are generally present.
The document includes the required front-matter details and stays within the word limit.
Some section numbering and labeling are inconsistent.
There are typographical and formatting issues that reduce polish.
A few tables, graphs, and captions are not fully consistent with each other.
4.1·Strength
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The report is organized into a clear sequence of sections that mirrors a formal investigation. This helps the reader navigate the argument from introduction to conclusion efficiently.
4.2·Weakness
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The contents page reveals a numbering inconsistency, as the report jumps from section 2.5 to 3 without showing earlier sub-sections in a fully consistent sequence. The student should check all section numbers so the structure is easier to follow.
4.3·Weakness
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This method step is difficult to follow because it refers back to the wrong step numbers and mixes the control with commercial products in a way that obscures the design. The student should rewrite the sequence so each condition is listed once, in a consistent order, with clear replicate counts.
4.4·Strength
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The results table is positioned logically before the processed-data discussion, which supports readability. This sequencing helps the reader move from raw observations to summarised data without confusion.
4.5·Weakness
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The table is comprehensive, but the label would be clearer if the unit and variable names were formatted more consistently. The student should also ensure that every calculated column is clearly defined in the accompanying text so the reader can interpret the table without guesswork.
4.6·Weakness
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This label is inconsistent with the rest of the report, which uses “natural lemon juice.” The student should use one term consistently throughout tables, graphs, and captions so the presentation does not suggest a different variable.